With a clutched rifle I stepped on the hill of crumbled wall and looked around. The landscape was horrid to look at. Ruins stood absent life, smoke, dust, it all flew in the air. Along with the stench of war, I could smell myself too because the fight was merciless and made me stay hidden.
It was peaceful now, most of them left. They didn’t bothered to collect their dead, so there were various body parts thrown on the ground. I chose my steps, looked at the corners where curtains rustled.
– Where are you? – I grunted silently and took a step, – Why don’t you show yourself? Come on, the time is running out. – I gnashed, trying to get across.
With a sonic boom the dirt rose up and the wave hit me in full force. I covered my face and slowly brought my rifle down when his world tumbled over mine. He was there, it the path of rubble that gradually caught fire, red tongues speeding for the air.
– People will call me mad when I tell them what happened. – I gnashed at the friend who walked towards me, his uniform tidy and glowing.
– Then don’t tell them. – he said in the most calm manner.
– Get us out of here. They could be coming. – I ordered, but he didn’t stopped.
– You are safe. – his voice broke in melancholy, – The battle is over for you. The battle is over for both of us the second you shot me. I am here to rescue you. – he said with a smile.
– Good. I can’t stand this place anymore. – I took a deep breath and he laughed.
– What place? The mortal one? You are days away from it. You were wandering here and I couldn’t watch you struggle anymore. – he said while flames amplified and turned to a wildfire.
– Mortal? What the hell are you talking about? – I asked frowning, when he looked around like he enjoyed the heat that radiated from the ruins.
– You don’t remember? You stepped on a mine and kept walking. Haven’t you seen the haze? Haven’t you felt the frost biting your face? You are dead my friend. The people upstairs had a change of hearts when you repent for your actions. Someone decided to show compassion to your soul and granted you the pass onto another place. They forgave you for shooting me. And I forgave you also. – he stretched his hand towards me, while my eyes ran all over the fire that was growing bigger and wilder, – Come on, friend. We soldiers, we have seen hell. It only gets easier from here on. – he smiled and encouraged me to take the step and take his hand.
As soon I grabbed him, he started glowing in white light. He closed his eyes and crackling fire became dim in the sound of thundering sky that fell on us. In a blink of an eye we vanished where depressive image of ruins, smoke and dust flying in the air came back to normal like nothing happened.
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Great story!
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Thanks. 😀
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Really creepy, but in a good way. I always wondered if there are souls who did not notice they died.
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We’ll never know. 😀
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Good writing, General. I love the ending!
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Aww, thanks Commander Susan. 😀
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:-O
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In the end, it was like nothing happened. So did the soldiers go to hell or heaven in the dream?
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I’m curious too!
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Both of them are ghosts. 😀 They went to heaven, because they went through hell already. 😀
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Awe a happy ending 😂
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For a change. 😀 Hahaha. 😀
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Great narration…twist was good..kind of sad
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It supposed to be. 😀 Thanks Noor. 😀 I am glad you liked it.
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Can I ask – do u prefer ur stories written from “I” or from “third part”-he, she? And what is the best?
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I prefer the first person as you can more efficiently drag the reader into the story, show emotions of the hero and present some relatable traits of the main character. Third person is great for multiple main characters and plot drive. In third person, you can do much more with worldbuilding and big action scenes.
It all depends on what do you write. 😀
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Okay, thank you. You always know everything!!!!aaaa! awesome source!
My novel is written in first person. But in stories I often prefer – third, its easier lol
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I know. I had to rewrite my novel to fit the first person because it gets more “personal”. 😀
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re-write the whole novel???? noooo its crazy, too much work. leave it with third. its very popular with third (as i know, thx to google lol)
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Too late. I am now working on the second novel. 😀
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Yes.. it’s amazing how u can do that 😀
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