Nighttime blabbering 684

I finished the short story. It’s beautiful. It’s an original and interesting concept. It’s short, but it has segments, all of the parts a great tale needs. And I am not really happy with it. Something is still missing, and I can’t tell what fell out of the order. It’s as if the story is rushed with a bunch of pieces thrown in to fill up the word quota, but not saying anything purposeful. Now, this feeling is contrasted with the skeleton of the story, an order of events that do carry a message, so the story IS complete, but an irrational feeling is there. I might have missed the grand opening, it starts in the middle of the action, we meet the hero, get to know him and his desires. That’s was the first thing a writer must do, get the reader to fall for a character, and then follow him on an adventure. The path is laid before him, many obstacles on the road, and let the torment begin. So, the concept, the skeleton, the meat is on the bone, but somehow it feels dry. The taste is… wonderful, if I might add, and I don’t doubt the taste, only the aroma. Something is off, and I can’t tell what went wrong.

How to fix it? Well, I gave it to a couple of friends knowledgeable about writing to assess the story, tell me everything, and be detailed about the feedback. Hopefully, they’ll find the problem and report back to me on what needs improvement. Only then I could see the story with a critical eye, and get back to it. It will take a couple of days, perhaps a weekend for them to do me a favor. After that is done, my editors are lined up to take it on and entangle their skillful fingers into the story, break it apart and sort it out. While they are on that project, I can finally get back to novel editing.