Nighttime blabbering 826

The gloomy weather drains my energy and motivation to do anything today. I am not depressed or sad; I just feel down because it’s dark all day. The streetlights are on at noon, rain showers the land, and it’s cold outside. I fear the winter will be like this all the way through. Perhaps this is good for the crops, at least now when nature is asleep. But then again, spring cold waves could surprise the gentle sprouts in the fields, chain them in frost and decimate the harvest. Worrying about the weather is a constant among the farmers, so I learned to mourn over the same problems. I have a Warhammer 40k Mechanicus OST in my headphones, an opera combined with Gregorian chants and modern synths that sway my thoughts here and there, inspiring calm. I’ve listened to some orthodox religious chants and prayers, an album of sorts, and the spiritual seem peaceful, soothing my nerves and easing my stress levels. It’s always happening in the late autumn. My playlist knows to tell time, so those chants and orchestras appear in my headphones. A sunny day demands a change of tunes, and I love energetic beats with a melodic girl’s voice singing to me while I am out working. When the rain begins, the ground turns to muck, and the colors dress up in darker tones; a low-voiced, slowed-tempo cathedral chant takes over. It feels like a sad artistic movie scene here. And yet it’s calm, foreboding, and motionless. If I grab my pen and start writing, I fear the scenes that will come out. I fear they will darken my novel, turning it into something repulsive and unreadable that everyone drops mid-way because the letters will radiate ominous energy. I had done that already with my first novel, which made some of the readers disquieted and troubled them to extreme nervousness. Strangely, I have the power to influence people. I might take a break today until sunlight graces me again with warmth.

Instead of the Kitten picture, here’s what’s in my ears tonight.

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