There aren’t many things that improve my current emotional state. However, a few things inspire sudden change, and it’s not what you think. Let me explain. Whenever there’s some big holiday coming, it usually means cleaning the whole house, preparing a feast, and receiving guests to eat and drink with them, which causes panic in my family. I am talking about slava, and if you want to know what that is, you can search the term on my blog to find out. The best way I can explain slava is to think of it as Thanksgiving day the Americans have, but this is bigger and longer. So, tomorrow is slava, which happens every year on the same date, and I had to go to the city for grocery shopping. I cleaned the whole house from the ground floor to the attic. Watering the flowers and the garden was also on the list. I did that too and then hooked the drapes to the windows. I even managed to find time to pick up and store the hay in the barn with my father. And in the end, I even wrote a few pages of my novel. Overall, you can say I had a hectic day, and tomorrow is yet another busy day when the guests arrive for a feast in the name of Salvation Day. Don’t ask me what Salvation day represents, besides being a capital holy day for Serbian Special Military Forces. Why is my family celebrating that? I am not sure, but it sounds cool to have a festivity honored by the top of the military.
But, what that does for my state of mind, depression, and panic attacks? Well, I am still gloomy all of the time, but I enjoyed watering the flowers, looking at the tomatoes grow in my garden, hooking up the drapes, and dusting off the furniture. It felt liberating, even if these things are pretty ordinary, and I do them all of the time. Taking a final look at the trimmed meadow with the plum trees growing strong was the best feeling I have had in a while. You see, small, insignificant stuff makes me kind of happy. I thought I smoked the whole pack, and I didn’t have another, but I found one on the fridge, and I genuinely felt terrific. How many people actually experience the thrill from finding you had more of something? Seriously, at the moment I exited my body, looked at myself from the third-person view, and thought: “Dude, you are like a child.” and then I proceeded to take the cigarette out and light it. At least something makes me happy.