Everybody avoided Dadan, because he was the loudmouth with a stupid smile on his face. Nobody wanted him around. I thought they had prejudice towards the guy and couldn’t trust him with their lives when bullets start flying. Natural selection brought him to me, and I didn’t opposed it. I didn’t minded having someone on my flank, someone to look at one direction while I moved on the other.
A week later, I saw why everybody insisted that I take him. The guy couldn’t shut up, not even when he was asleep. Either he talked about his life, or he sang while on march. He didn’t sang well.
I had a big limit of tolerance and most of the time I was silent, so he spoke for both of us. Others laughed at the most silent and most chatty guy in the company, but I didn’t care. I was here to make picnic.
– Hey man. Hey. I never asked you before, but do you believe in God? I mean, I am here rambling about sunday services when I was a kid, the preacher we had in our church. Yeah, that was a fun time. So, do you believe in God? – Dadan made huge steps and stared at me with a smile, while my grumpy face moved at sides looking at the snowy hills where enemy could be waiting.
– No. – I answered not really interested in talking, which haven’t threw Dadan off balance.
– Seriously? You don’t believe in God? So what do you believe in? Come on, there must be something you believe in? How about Jehovah? I knew a guy who believed in him. He was a great guy. He had a really cool bike we took turns riding. – Dadan spoke with enthusiasm I never had in my life.
– Taking turns! – a guy from the back laughed hard, his machine gun clinking in his hands, – Just like we took turns on your sister last night?! – high fives and choir of laughter started following me, where Dadan’s smiling face took that grimace like he wanted to ask “What?”, but avoiding confrontation, he turned toward me like nothing happened.
At this point, I pitied the poor guy. For a second I thought he was mentally challenged or ill, as that would explain his constant smiling and talking, but he wasn’t showing any other signs of disorder. If someone said to me what this idiot told to Dadan, I would gladly discharge a bullet in the fucker’s head, but this wasn’t my problem, not my battle.
– So, do you believe in Jehovah? – Dadan continued, and my blood boiled because of the persistent questions he posed.
– No. I don’t believe in God, or any other deity. Stop asking me so damn much! – I lashed out at the man jerked back and looked at my angry face, – There is no God! Never did! If it did, why is he doing this, if everything is because of him?! Why do you believe is him, when there are thousand more deities?! What makes your God so special, huh?! If you were born in some other country, you would have some other God than this! Would you defend that the same way you defend this?! In stone age, people believed that mammoth was a God and they ate their Gods back then! Why don’t you believe that a mammoth is your God?! Or a bird, or a fish?! If they were fake deities, this one is too. – I grunted the last word and started walking again, not caring of what I did to him.
The column continued to march forward, all silent and focused on the hills around us. Dadan stood there like wet, his mouth finally closed.
– That shut ‘im up. – the asshole of the company said with a smirk and our steps took over to pound in the snow.
I felt bad, but I had to do something about the endless barrage of questions. I felt like I lost my soul back there, left in on the road and never turned back to pick it up. I must’ve been a monster. I shouldn’t have lied to him. I believed in a force, something intangible and ghostly like a spirit that controls the world we live in. Everytime some event happened, there was a perfect reaction that never failed to stop the things from getting worse. Maybe people called that a God, I am not sure, but I defied the personification of that power, giving it a human face and a long white beard.
If we were ruled by something, I wasn’t ready to name it God, even if others insisted on doing that.
And some stories you can’t afford to miss.