Hit after hit was breaking me, a cluster of thoughts that gave me pain in stomach, numb fingers and cold sweat running down my head. I had a chill stroking my spine, my eyes speeding, hyperventilation, slow and shallow breaths, not enough oxygen.
It hurts, it hurts so much I can’t move, I just grind my teeth and pray for death. A month has passed in this hellish torture, my doctor says it’s a panic attack and gave me medication to battle that, but how do you battle yourself, how do you battle something inside of you? How do you win?
That morning I stood naked in my bathtub and let the water stream over my head. I saw it dripping from my hair onto my feet, barely warm water – washing my sorrow away. The corner of my bed, there is clothes near it, but I sit on the edge and look at the mirror.
– What an ugly face. – I think looking at the pale, almost sick looking person, bushy hair that is just wrong for anyone to own that, a suched in cheeks and black beard under the long face, blue pockets under a pair of grey lifeless eyes, – I am a trainwreck. – I tell myself and gasp out of strength, – I should stop thinking about her. – the second thought never brings comfort, but I still tell it even if the words lost its meaning.
I walk out, ready to move, follow her steps and finish what she had begun. People great me like a friend, all they see is the widest smile I had salvaged in case of emergency. A handshake, a tap on the back, a lovely smile offered to me. I will salvage that one for tomorrow. No inkling of what is deep inside.
Facebook & Twitter social links that are waaay more positive that this story.
Yeah, this was a bit dark. Not really a self reflection, but an interesting topic to work with. If you wanted more interesting stuff, look down.
This is really niceee.
I loved it.
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Thanks. 😀
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I hadn’t read this one. Very good one. Introspective, fluent, well written
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I am glad you liked it. 😀 Will make more in inspirations hits me. 😀
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hmmmmm. Maybe a bit dark or frustrating as you indicate, and not reflective of you, but I will bet a lot of people reading it can relate….sadly. Oh and hi. I am back for about an hour…. hugs.
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Welcome back. 😀 Always a sunshine when you are around. 😀 I get my episodes when I run out the joy feelings, so this is a sneak peak into my deep cover world. No worries, all my demons are on a chain. 😀
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I know…. Just great writing! And thanks.
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we battle ourselves all the time on one level of another…….having a comfort animal like kitty helps
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It does. 😀
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Beautifully written.
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Thanks Commander. 😀 Much appreciated 😀
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Oh my!
I dont know what to say ..
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Just smile like I do. 😀
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Hey. Dont scare me okay!
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😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😦 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
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😒
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“but how do you battle yourself, how do you battle something inside of you? How do you win?” So true. Enjoyed reading it.
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I am glad I was able to provide something to your liking. 😀 Thank you very much for the read and a comment Viola. 😀
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Niiice
Now give us more 😀
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Easy, this is just enough for now. 😀 Maybe another time. 😀
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I have to come here time to time..to check your gif haha just kidding (but its a cool one!)
Shower scene should be longer a bit .. dont you think? haha
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Nope. This is just fine. 😀 Nice and respectful, artistic, pleasant. There are videos for what you ask. 😀
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Hahaha how do u know about the videos? 😉😉
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My second cousin brothers friend twice removed saw it once and said it was good, but I am sceptic about it. 😀
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Dark isn’t bad. On Twitter, my most popular stories are the ones about a sadistic poisoner. *shrugs* Just give the people what they want. This was good!
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Will consider your advice. 😀 Writers should be comfortable to write anything. That’s what I say. 😀 Never written something dark. That’s all. 😀 Thanks for the comment Anne, ;D
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Keep it up 🙂
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