Retarded Chihuahua by Dijana Minic

Shared from the members of “Kostolac” fantasy club for speculative science and creative writing workshop

“Retarded Chihuahua”

 

I managed to board the last flight home. They told me from the control that they have organized an additional flight to Orion. „Oh, what a luck!“ I thought that I’ll have to wait for one more week in this dump with a „howler“. I made it by a hair’s breadth. I almost got late, again. I was late for the last two flights and all because of my grandmothers hybrid chihuahua which was about to go inside the house, when he has decided to play „hide and seek“ with me using its teleportation skills. That power was atypical for humans, so I, as a regular mortal, had to spend another hour pursuing it, literally doing circles around the house. And, do you know where he was for all that time while I was running? ON THE ROOF!

This little fur-ball was laughing at me the whole time. That’s when I snapped. I ran into the house and took grandma’s magical lasso and dragged the little fur-ball inside. Grandmother is returning home tomorrow. God, who could have such a brilliant idea to make big retarded chihuahua out of a small retarded chihuahua by giving her the alpaca gene, that now climbs the roof with or without the help of teleportation? I admit, he is a little less retarded now. Because of the alpaca gene, when you look at it from a certain angle, in a very specific part of the day, it somehow succeeds to appear even cute and now it is the most popular pet on Orion, and my grandma form Earth – just had to have one. But, teleportation?! To a chihuahua?! C’mon! Really?!

dijanina-c48divava

It’s not my turn to answer that question, in the first place. The saying goes that, when you can’t find an answer to a question, it means that the question is not even yours to answer. That’s why it’s best to let go of those things and focus on reality. “Carpe” – the damn – “Diem”. Do you know of that feeling when: you are so lost in your thoughts that you just zone out to the distance, or like me – currently, stare through the window for almost twenty minutes and for a fact, you haven’t seen anything? You watch, but don’t see. You listen, but don’t hear. You speak, but don’t think… The last one is a common trait in humans.

My grandma has won a cruiser trip across the galaxy for two, playing the lottery last winter. When she called me, I sincerely have thought she had planned on taking me with her. Just when she notified me she won the price, I opened my mouth wide to exhale the air I previously inhaled with a grand thrill, and just when I was about to say a big Thanks – she told me she needed somebody to take care of Mickey, while she and her Neighbor go for a cruise. Plus if I could feed the neighbor’s parrot, that would be great. I deflated like a balloon. In a moment I tried to think of a good and convincing reason of why I couldn’t do it, but my ear dropping mother that heard the conversation on the other phone beat me to it by saying: „Oh, God mom, why wouldn’t he? He already doesn’t have any plans for this summer. I’ll pack him for the next flight to Earth.“

I am staring at the nail in the wall and hear the buzzing in my head, more of an empty rustle… a wind in a spacious, green meadow. Because of all that starting excitement followed by an instant disappointment, great anger ensued. Simply, my brain caught a „bug“ in the system and projected the most calming that it could find. Green meadow with that wooden fence and all, like in the cartoons. In that condition, the only thing I could reply was: Thanks mom. See you grandma.“ And that’s when I hung up the phone and by tomorrow I was on my way to Earth, and right now – I’m already coming back. Oh my, how time flies.

Written by Diana Minic, member of “Kostolac” fantasy club association.

dijana

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2 thoughts on “Retarded Chihuahua by Dijana Minic

  1. Pingback: First Anniversary | Dronstad

  2. Reblogged this on Ljubitelji fantastike and commented:
    Retarded Chihuahua by Dijana Minic
    I managed to board the last flight home. They told me from the control that they have organized an additional flight to Orion. „Oh, what a luck!“ I thought that I’ll have to wait for one more week in this dump with a „howler“. I made it by a hair’s breadth. I almost got late, again.

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