I refer to my fellowship as brothers in Quill, rather than brothers in Arms. I’ve been thought that words cut deeper than the sharpen edge of the blade and that a written letter has bigger reach than a bullet. Many of you that read this and follow my ascending in the world of writers already know about my fascination with the violence and the military, however all of that is suppressed to a benign level. I write my mind and soul, wishing to find more people that share my point of view.
Sometimes I get sad, depressed and decide to give up on writing, because I run out of words like a soldier runs out of ammo, just when the real battle comes to him. Now is that day when I question my work, hopes, dreams and purpose in this mortal world. I guess every soldier comes to a moment in time when he questions his existence and looks around the fiery chaos he is in, wondering: “What am I doing here and how did I get here, to this mess, death and sorrow?”.
We expect our brothers in arms are there to lift us up and show us the truth, motivate us to fight and all, but I wish for no such thing. I must fight it alone. That’s the only way to become strong and your mind grows to understand his position in society. There were days when I wanted to delete my WordPress account, delete my 3 novels I never got to publish, and 23 short stories that I wrote, thinking I’ll never find my place among the renowned writers, host the shows, talk to my own fandom. I stopped my usual posting, I stopped writing, because I must search for strength and find my goals. I must not dream, but walk the firm ground and get motivated from within.
I do like to see others, my brothers in Quill, as they write their own stories, socialize and share their thoughts. This way I realise that the world is so much bigger, and it will continue to spin even if I fell out of torgue. It is crushing, morbid and beautiful in the same time. No matter what I say, you need to battle your own problems my brothers in Quill. Stop for no one and march on toward the horizon. To stop is to die. I’ll catch up with you.